wanderlust

Stinky soul
Get a little lost in my own
Hey General
Need a little love in that hole of yours
So one ways now and Saturdays now
And our kittens all wrapped in cement

From cradle to gumdrops
Got me running girl as fast as I can
And is it right, Butterfly,
They like you better framed and dried

Daddy, dear
If I can kill one man
Why not two?
Well, nurses smile
When you've got iron veins
You can't stain their pretty shoes
And pompoms and cherry blondes
And the kittens still wrapped in cement

From God's saviours to gumdrops
Got me running girl as fast as I can
And is it right, Butterfly,
They like you better framed and dried

Got a pretty pretty garden
Pretty garden, yes

***

Im probably just having my post-menstrual syndrome so I felt like crap last night.. I hate these hormones.. and I hate being an average girl in this world where being average seems to be the biggest mistake a person could ever make.

I love my cousins, I won’t go dissing them or anything of that sort but the thing is, sometimes, its so hard to spend time with them.. I mean, sure, they’re so nice and all; but sometimes, that’s just the problem; they’re so perfect. And I am so not… When I was kid, I grew up in a family where everyone would talk about how pretty ---- is and how gorgeous --- is; thing is, when it comes to me, all they could ever say was how tall I was for my age.. I bet they wont be saying that anymore since all the rest of my family got ramp-model heights and im only 5 feet tall.. Ano na kaya ngayon hiret nila? “Uy antaba mo na ah? Hiyang ka siguro sa work mo.” me and my hormones..

It’s weird how I would have the time of my life when I am with my cousins and feel like shit afterwards; to feel so inadequate.. It's sometimes so hard when everbody else would get noticed and you would stand there and be your regular wallflowerself..

I would always wish I was taller, skinnier, fairer and have a perfectly proportioned and angular face like they do.. I hate the fact that even though they didn’t mean for me to feel that way,I still feel like hell..Babaw ba? Like what I said, I guess I'm just having my pms..

The other week, as I was browsing through the heaps of books in book haven (fully booked, promenade, greenhills), i came across this book, but i forgot the name of the author, "The beauty myth".. I wasnt able to buy the book because, like the rest of the books in book haven, it's so darn pricey.. but come next payday, ill try to drop by and buy the book.. as a post-christmas gift to myself..

Anyway, i think it's a great book, although it's a bit on the hard-core feminist side discussing things about, you guessed it..Beauty and how damaging it is to women today. And from the first few chapters I was able to read, the author says that according to recent studies, women today have a lower sense of satisfaction and contentment as compared to women during the 1800s.

Turns out, as the so-called "women-equality" movement progressed during the last five decades,women today are faced with a whole new and different dilemma: the beauty myth.. women today are seem to be struggling against this new predicament inside of her- the need to be beautiful.

As women during the previous ages were measured with what they are capable of doing and accomplishing for their families, women are now tied upon that which measures the worth of women in accordance to the norms of society these days: how full her breasts are, how proportioned her waist is to her height, how supple and fair her skin is.. and it's sometimes sad to think that most women (i guess me included) tend to cling to these ideas. thus, the beauty myth control each and every concept she has of herself..

It all becomes emotionally and spiritually draining and for what? just when we thought that it's all for the well-being of us women, it doesnt seem to really benefit women in particular; it's more of beneficial to men--it all boils down to them men.. so i hate boys and ill be a dyke instead? Uy highschool days are back! hehe.. i dont know..wasnt able to finish the rest of the book, so i guess that's about it.. I'll tell you the rest of it after i finish reading the book..